I’ve been camping in Colorado for almost a week, and I really miss my significant other, Netflix. Here’s what I’ve been watching instead.
Instead of watching Clara, the Impossible Girl, blow into the world on a leaf, I saw this:
Instead of watching Sherlock solve a mystery, I had to solve the mystery of who broke into the damn kitchen and stole all my Emergen-C and trail mix, with only this clue:
(It was a bear, probably the same one who victimized me last year as well).
Instead of watching Andy Dwyer get ready to rock out with Mouse Rat, I saw this:
Instead of watching Leslie Knope send Ron Swanson a singing horse telegram, I saw this:
Instead of grossing out at watching Dean eat a Pepperjack Turducken Slammer, I saw this questionable foodstuff growing outside my cabin:
And, finally, instead of just getting off the couch to make a quick snack between episodes of a Netflix binge, I had to walk this for anything edible:
Nature, you’ve been beautiful and interesting and all, but I’m afraid my heart has been claimed. Netflix, I’ll be home soon.